Binge Eating

So we all struggle with food, I mentioned this to a psychologist not that long ago and she replied with “I think the majority of females have an unhealthy relationship with food”
I have a binge eating disorder, and today seems the right time to tell you a little bit of what it feels like for me. I have fished left over pizza out of the bin before, I get angry if people look at what I eat, I hide food at times and at my worst on my 25 birthday after too much wine I remember sitting in the bath relieved that I had at least managed to throw up my dinner. At worst I have used laxatives, and have wished I had the dedication anorexics and bulimics have. How shocking and saddening is that? 

I’ve lost 6.5 stone and put on around 3 back, sometimes I feel like a martyr around food and can be very healthy and then I can end up eating a tub of ice cream and two pizzas in the same evening. I hate the bloated sick feeling after a binge and I vow to never do it again, and then the next time I feel hungry… Well the cycle begins again. 

I know more about diet and food than anyone else I know but I never feel in control of what I put in my mouth. 

I don’t stop thinking about food, from breakfast I think about lunch, from lunch it’s dinner and then it’s what to eat before bed. 

I’ve gone from stress eating, so everything in sight, to now not being able to eat at all when things get hard, and feeling physically unable to consume food. My addiction around food is frustratingly complex as unlike other addictions it’s impossible to just abstain from completely. 

Hopefully this story will resonate with those out there and help me address some of my daily struggles

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. I have binge eating disorder too. I know what you mean about not being in control.

    1. lifegoddess says:

      Thanks for reading! its a very had condition to live with!

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