Feminism is a GOOD word! – My guide to being a strong independant person

Being a strong, independent woman doesn’t necessarily require that you be a die-hard feminist. I like wearing makeup, I wear heels, I am a firm advocate of hair removal, I agree with cosmetic surgery to help with lack of self esteem and I like buying bras not burning them.

Being a feminist isn’t some extreme view. It’s about self empowerment, embracing who you are, building on your strengths and working on your weaknesses, without trying to fit a certain mould implied by your being a female.

1.Don’t compare yourself to other women.

Western society tends to exacerbate female jealousy through advertisements and films that feature unrealistic standards of beauty. The result is a culture of women who feel insecure and unhappy with their own bodies. You are you, and no one else can change modify or take that away from you, be proud and happy with being an individual. ‘you can only be yourself, for everyone else is already taken’

2. Overcome Jealousy.

Firstly Jealousy is natural, but it is an ugly emotion. Turn it into inspiration, if you like what someone else has, use it as inspiration to know that you can work hard to achieve your goals too. Try not to compare your own negative qualities with other women’s positive qualities. Every woman has her own best assets, whether it is her breasts, her legs, her arms, her eyes, her hair, or her butt. Let go of trying to have it all, and appreciate what you do have.

3. You don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy.

Having a special someone in your life should a great bonus, but not the be all and end all. You are not a failure if you are single, you just haven’t found the right person yet and you are not willing to settle for less in the mean time. No matter how bad you may think you need a relationship, you must first learn to love yourself before you can even begin to love somebody else. It doesn’t mean you’re are mad or broken or a failure it just means you have standards.

If you are already in a relationship, be sure you have other things going on in your life outside of the relationship, whether it is school, work, friends, fitness routine, or your family.

4. Don’t follow fashion, follow what suits you.

Unless you are a 90lb 6 foot model it is unlikely all fashion trends will suit you. Instead dress for you, your body, your style and your happiness. Use fashion to express a little more about you rather than what fashion dictates. Wear what makes you look, and most importantly feel good, happy and confident.

5. This is super important! – Protect and respect your sexuality.

Every woman, at one point or another, encounters a man who wants to take advantage of her sexually. Society has taught women to feel ashamed or embarrassed for being molested, even going so far as to claim that some women are “asking for it.” This is NEVER the case.

Enjoy sex! You are allowed to you know! As long as you are being respectful to yourself your own boundaries and others, go and experiment and enjoy it.

You have a right to express yourself safely without fear of being taken advantage of. Your sexuality is personal to you, enjoy it, experiment with it, embrace it and respect it.

6. Be well educated

No this isn’t about if you went to university or how many GCSE’s you got or if you went to a private school. This is about enhancing your knowledge and skills in whatever area you want to, from brain surgery to being a writer, beautician, secretary, plumber or fire-fighter, knowledge will give you the insight and skills you will need to pursue a career and you well-respected by the people you encounter in your life. Your level of education (whether formal or informal) reflects your intelligence and shows others that you care about things other than your own personal life.

7. Be Assertive!

The real world is not a fair and happy place sadly; you will have to learn to fend for yourself in the real world if you want to avoid being taken advantage of. By allowing people to treat you badly you are showing people that is all you thing you are worth.

This doesn’t mean you need to yell and scream, assertiveness is not about fighting battles, it is about telling people when you feel their behaviour towards you or others is unacceptable, in turn treat yourself how you expect others to treat you, with dignity and respect this sets the standard you wish them to meet.

8. Look after your body

You only get one, so respect it. Personal strength is manifested physically, mentally, and emotionally. If you want to be a strong, independent woman, you need look no further than your own body. Show others the standard you like to life your life by.

Staying in shape improves your overall health, your mood, and your energy levels, which will improve your performance in all aspects of your life.

9. Manage your money

Live to your income, it’s not what you own in life that make you happy, it’s how you treat others and how they treat you. Spend your money wisely, and avoid wasteful or frivolous expenditures. Know your income and stick to it. A clever woman doesn’t get into unnecessary debt.

10. Do good and make a difference

Don’t be selfish and give what you can, be it time, money or opportunities to others. The world is full enough of takers, be a giver it will make you feel good. One of the best ways you can exert your strength is to give back to those who are less fortunate than you. We spend some much of your lives thinking ad worrying about ourselves, it would be good if we all took a little time out to just do one little thing for each other.

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Denise says:

    Good advice and positive write up for feminism.

    Love your site design and your celebration of being a woman.

    1. lifegoddess says:

      Thank you so much for your lovely comments! – There is nothing with celebrating being female!

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